Finding The Balance between Love, Romance, Starting over, Finding God, and Purity.

So, it has been at least a year or more since I have sat down to write, but recent happenings in my life have given me the inspiration to bare a bit of my soul. I always dreamed about the perfect man for me…come on ladies.. we all do it… and I just expected God to drop him in my lap fully prepared and ready to love me. Well…lets get real…thats not how God works. Many times He will bring two people together at the most awkward times in their lives and use them to help and sharpen each other.
When that happens, it can be stressful, it can be overwhelming, and most of all it can be a true test of love. You may have one person who has been through a divorce, or maybe one that has issues from past relationships, but you can pretty much guarantee that those issues will overflow into your new relationship. This is what brings me to the next thought…God is all the while knocking at the door of our hearts and wanting us to center that relationship around him. But what if one of you isn’t close to God like the other one? Then most of the time you find yourself falling in love with someone who has different standards and expectations of the relationship. Is it possible to find a balance between love, and romance and God, and staying pure? I think so. I truly believe that if God has brought two people together and they truly love each other, and they make a decision as a couple…we are going to center this relationship around Christ first..i think it can work. Now…you arent always going to have two people that are wiling to lay down their flesh and sinful nature to have a pure relationship, but if you do have a partner that is willing to do that…then dont let go! lol Men and Women with a heart after God are hard to come by these days. So have I always found this balance and been perfect and had this awesome Christ centered relationship? Nope…sadly I have not always found the balance…but you know what Gods word says ? In Romans 8:1 it says…1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power[a] of the life-giving Spirit has freed you[b] from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.[c] So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. 4 He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit. So even though I haven’t always made the right decisions, there is no condemnation because Of my relationship with Jesus. The awesome part of this little blog is that I have finally been given the gift of a wonderful man that wants a Godly and Christ centered relationship, and I get the chance to be the woman of integrity and virtue, and seek God with this man that I love. Oh and trust me…you may not always see this path clearly , or right away, but theres always a new day and a new opportunity to make things right and to put your relationship on the right path. Your vision may have to change…because your eyes are no longer on your beloved but on Jesus….and with your eyes on Jesus, he becomes the focal point and helps you to run the race together , side by side. God doesnt intend for us to have to run this race alone…thats why He said in Genesis 2:18.. Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him. Genesis 2:21.. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs[d] and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” I truly believe that God intends for Godly women to be a helper and a companion to their men. It is my hope and my prayer that God will give me the grace and the strength that I need to be a true woman of virtue so that I can be a help and an encouragement in my relationship and never a hinderence. I hope that my words have encouraged you to center your relationship around Christ and helped you to see that even if you failed, God is always waiting and willing to give us another chance. Be blesed!!!

my awesome boyfriend, Tim

Empty Hands

I want to have empty hands. No, I didn’t mistype what I said. I WANT TO HAVE EMPTY HANDS! Confused? Good….haha…Now let me explain. I donn’t know about you, but there are so many things in my life that it seems like I am waiting for or wanting to happen. For example, I am waiting for God to bring me my husband, I am waiting for God to release me into full time ministry, I am waiting for the fullfillment of all my hopes and dreams….and if you noticed a word that I used a lot??? Waiting. So in this process of waiting, I have always said…oh I trust you God, but in all reality, I was holding the reins. I was holding the reins of my ministry… I thought that what I had was so good, that when God said let go, I didn’t want to because it was all I had. And because I didn’t let go when He told me to, I put myself in a place that allowed the enemy full access to my life, and he almost destroyed me. I was holding the reins to realtionships in my life, by always being on the lookout for Mr. Right, or always having a guy in mind that I thought could maybe barely meet the standards of what I want in a husband. I always had options that I was holding onto, most of which I had created for myself. I always had a backup plan. You see, they weren’t God ordained plans or people, but I managed to convince myself that God helps those who help themselves. And so I lived for a few years in deception…thinking that God was in control, but really my hands were loaded down with all the reins that controlled the different areas of my life. I heard a mesage recently that I think goes hand in hand with living empty handed. The message talked about the power of the seed…that if we begin to plant seeds in the areas that we are expecting God for, we will see a harvest. A seed will only produce after its own kind, so if you are believeing God to bless you financially , then obviously you would sow a seed of money. So I asked the Holy Spirit, what kind of seed can I plant towards finding my husband? And what kind of seed can I sow towards walking in the fullness of my calling? And I really feel like the Holy Spirit said…give me the reins, open up that tight grip you have on everything and throw the reins to me…and that will be your seed. He said…how can I ever place anything that I have ordained in your hands if you continue to grasp to these plans of your own? He showed me that when you put a seed in the ground, that it is a step of faith, because the seed has to actually die before it springs forth with life… And once it does, it still has to grow through a season before you can reap a harvest. So I’m living my life with empty hands surrendered to God…. And even though I’m no longer in control… I know that my harvest time is coming!

Faith…The Key To Pleasing God

I have often wondered what it would take for my life to be pleasing to God. I think that all true believers have that desire to please God, but so often we try so hard to do things in our own ability and it really amounts to nothing. God’s word says that without FAITH, it is impossible to please God. It is also by grace though FAITH that we are saved. So how do we as believers get this thing called FAITH??? It is actually much simpler than you might imagine…it isn’t some magical power that you have to conjure up and it isn’t something that can be obtained with the human mind. The Word of God says that Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God….so you may say…ok, I have heard that before, and I still don’t get it. Let me break it down for you. God gave us His Word to be a lamp that lights our path, and He also sent the Holy Spirit to bring illumination to His Word in our lives. When you begin to read the Word, if submitted to the Holy Spirit, something should come alive within your spirit. I know that I personally love to listen to the bible being read, either on cd or audio podcast, because by hearing the word, Faith begins to stir within me. It is as we feed our spirit with the word, that our Faith begins to grow. I know it sounds simple, but trust me…it works! Thats why they call it “our daily bread”….because it is like food for our spirit. I have noticied that it is always on the days when I don’t feed my spirit that doubt and unbelief and all sorts of evil things start to creep into my mind….and that is where the part about renewing your mind daily through the reading of the Word comes into play. The battlefield in the mind can only be won by daily renewing your mind. You are probably saying…ok, so how does this relate to faith? Well when our minds are renewed and our hearts are submitted to the Word of God, we are open and ready to receive what the Holy Spirit wants to say to us, and we are letting Faith rise up inside of us. As we begin to walk by Faith and not by sight, we are saying to God..” I trust you with every aspect of my life and my existence.” That is what pleases God….when He sees that no matter what we walk through good or bad, that we still trust Him and rely upon him despite it all. I am still a work in progress, but I pray that we all as believers continue to grow in the Faith so that we can be effective ministers in this dry and desolate land.

Climbing Out of The Pit

Ahh yes, finally the writer finds inspiration to yet again put down her thoughts and share the depths of her heart with whomever may stumble across this little blog.
So, I must say that this past year has been probably the hardest and dryest that I have walked through in my 26 years on this planet. Basically I have been in a wilderness for 7 years now. Since the separation and divorce of my parents, who are both ordained ministers by the way, my life has been a series of one disappointment and hurt after another. Despite all the hurt, there have also been times of healing, joy, lessons learned, and I count it all a joy that I have walked through fiery trials for the sake of Christ. I should clarify that by also saying that yes the enemy has been hot on my heels, but I have also made some poor decisions, because of unhealed wounds, that I have had to walk through the consequences of my actions. Being raised in the ministry, I have known the Lord since I was 4 years old. The Lord has spoken to me since I was 14 that I was to dedicate my life to the service of His kingdom in the full time ministry. Soooo many amazing things have been spoken over and over into my life and over my life, that there is no denying that I am called to be a mouthpiece to the Nations….preaching, singing, and prophesying words of deliverance and healing to the Nations…..thats what the Lord has designed me for….and yet I found myself at 19 , in the midst of such an outpuring of His Glory, and suddenly my whole world is shattered and fragmented by my parents divorce. I was strong at the time…I was not yet tainted by the cares and afflictions of this world….and I was determined to press on despite the fact that everything I knew was falling to pieces. So I set out to conquer the world and soon found out that life as I always perceived it was nothing like I had been told it would be, and I was faced with burdens and temptations that I wasn’t prepared for.
I stayed very involved in church, and yet, it felt like no matter what I did I was constantly faced with rejection, disappointment, immature decisions, rapid weight gain…which was because of inner hurts that I tried to ignore. I thought I was doing great for awhile, because i surrounded myself with lots of hanging out with friends and eating out and shopping….and all the while I was just covering up the root pain instead of dealing with it and uprooting it. If you merely cut a weed at surface level, your yard may look pretty for a little while, but eventually those pesky weeds are gonna pop up and will continue to surface until they are dealt with at the root. It is kinda like sin….we try to stay away from sin, but we fail to realize that we must uproot the seed of rebellion before we can get rid of the sin. Anyway, let’s just say I have learned some very hard lessons, and I have walked through some intense pain, and rejection, and all the while I could never figure out why it was that I continued to sink deeper and deeper into a place of hopelessness and dispondence. Well, recently I found that as I looked at myself, all I saw was a pathetic, depressed, young woman, wallowing in self pity…all the while complaining to God and teetering on the edge of an emotional breakdown. Well I woke up one morning, and I decided that enough was enough…so I decided to lose myself in the Word of God and in His presence, and to allow His Holy Spirit to change my heart and to renew my hope. And he did just that…the Word of God is literally our food…our daily bread is not just a cliche…it truly is the food that our Spirit feeds on…and when we deprive ourselves of daily feeding, we become so weak that the enemy easily comes in with his devicive tactics to destroy us. So I emerged myself in the Word and submitted myself to the Holy Spirit, and it is amazing how quickly I began to feel my spirit come alive…it was as if the depression just began to float away. God is continually changing me and forming me, but my point today is to tell you that unless we go to Him daily, there is so much margin for error to creep into our lives. Just last night I received a text from a friend and she mentioned something about my ex boyfriend….which is a subject that is a source of pain if I dwell on it…but anyway, immediately I began to feel my heart sinking deep within me. I had to take those thoughts into captivity, and speak ;life and set my mind on things above…and guess what? It worked!!! I was able, with the help of the Holy Spirit , to climb out of the pain that use to hold me bound. You may be reading this and think that there is no way that you will ever be happy…you may feel like everyone has left you or abandoned you….you may just be discouraged from the cares and dissapointments of this life….but let me assure you of one thing. God made a way for you and me to be free from those pits…He gave us a way of escape. He spoke His Word and the Word became flesh and blood, when He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. Without that precious gift we would be stuck in that pit forever….but thank God that He had soooo much love for us that He gave so freely and provided us with a hope and a future. Jesus said that all we have to do is confess with our mouth and believe with our heart that He is Lord and that God raised Him from the grave and we shall be saved! It is that simple, but I feel an obligation to tell you that you must really let Him change your heart and have a realization of what He did on the cross, because without that true appreciation for His grace, we will never be able to truly live for Him. I pray that today my little blog has ministered to your heart in some way….Just know that as you seek after Him daily, He will give you everything that you need. May the God of Grace and Peace be with you!!!!

Bolton Battering Leaves Boro Five Points Adrift

Gary Cahill heads at goal in Bolton Wanderers’ 4-1 win against Middlesbrough.

Staying In “The Circle”

It is time like never before that we as Christians stay in the circle. Now, I know already what you are thinking….I’m not talking about isolating ourselves, but rather staying inside the perfect will of God. God has really been dealing with me over the past couple of weeks concerning His will for my life. It is often so easy to take matters into our own hands and say well God helps those who help themselves….and we lie to ourselves and make excuses for our actions. Let me give you an example. I am a single Christian woman who has stayed faithful to God since I was 3 years old…I have honored God with my purity and dedicated my life to serving His house. Well naturally, I am at the age where I desire to have a husband to serve and and to be a help and blessing to his life and ministry. God, however has not brought me that blessing yet. Trust me, there have been many opportunities to settle, but had I done that I would have forfeited the calling of God ….and it’s just not worth it. So, there have also been many moments of loneliness that have tempted me to step out of the circle and seek out a husband…..but the Holy Spirit always convicts me whenever I start trying to make things happen. It reminds me of the children of Israel when they kept asking God to give them a king…and after them asking and asking, God eventually gave in, despite His warning to them that it would be a disaster, and gave them a king… King Saul….which was not His perfect desire or plan…but He allowed it because they demanded their own way…..and if you know the story, Saul really was a failure before God and before Israel. I said all of that to say…our circumstances can so easily cause us to step out of the “circle” or the perfect plan that God has prepared for us. I know that as I continue to seek hard after Him my destiny will just fall into place…and it will be in that place that I am the most effective. Ladies, stop runnin around after these young men that you have no business trying to get their attention….all you are doing is wasting your time and possibly forfeiting God’s perfect plan for your life. It really takes you making a decision to die to your flesh and seek only after God…It’s tough at times….but it gets easier as you know Him more ….you really start to desire Him more than a husband. God is so gracious…even when we step outside the circle…He has a way of nudging us back in the right direction. Seek after Him and His kingdom, and He will truly give you the desires of your heart….and I don’t mean your selfish desires…but He will actually begin to place His desires for you into your heart. We are living in a time where many will be led astray…it is so important …your life depends upon it…stay in ” His Circle”.

Special Services Starting Tonight….HFLC’s 5th Anniversary!

I am so excited about this weekend! Tonight begins a weekend of special services to celebrate my church’s 5th Anniversary. We are a young church, but God has done some amazing things in our church …and I know that He has so much more to pour out on us. I have been up at the church every night this week trying to get everything ready and beautiful for our special weekend of services. My friend Josh and I are the official “church decorators” …lol…I know it sounds cheesy, but we really believe in having a spirit of excellence in everything that we do at Hearts Ease. So anyway we have been working really hard to make sure that we make evrything nice for our guests….who will be coming from England and other states….and for all of our visitors that the Holy Spirit brings in. Pastor Jerry Hunt will be speaking in these special meetings, and he really is an awesome and anointed man of God. We are also bringing in Pastors Mark and Sharon Hollinger from Norwich, England to minister to our kids….they are outstanding childrens pastors from Mt Zion Family Life Center.
I want to invite anyone who reads this to join us for one or all of our services. Check out the schedule below:
Friday Night Service: 7:00 PM
Saturday Night Service: 7:00 PM
Sunday Morning Service: 10:10 AM
Sunday Night Service: 6:30 PM

We always mingle before services in our cafe….so come early and have a cappucino or a frozen coffee and get to see what God is doing in our church. We will also have a finger foods after service and a time to fellowship with everyone.
I know that God is going to do something great in these services….so please come out if you can!!!
Here is our address:
12112 Florida Blvd. Baton Rouge, La. 70815 or you can call for directions at (225)-274-1607.
Hope to see you there!

Pics from New York

New York Bound!!!

I am super excited about this weekend coming up. I am leaving for New York Friday morning along with 17 others from my church, to minister at a church in Connecticut. My pastor, Philip Pimlott was invited to minister and is bringing along the worship team and a few of their family members to minister with him. The church that we will be ministering at is a sister church of ours, and sadly their pastor just passed away back in February, shortly after my old schoolmate Amy passed. Now the pastors son has stepped up to pastor the church at the young age of 25. The church was absolutely shocked and devastated when the pastor died unexpectedly, so I am hoping that we will be able to encourage them and hopefully help re-ignite the vision within their hearts.
On a lighter note, we will just be an hour away from NYC and will have an opportunity to be in the city and do some shopping and sightseeing…we might even get to see a show.
So if you think of me this weekend, please pray that we will be able to carry the Spirit of God with us everywhere that we go this weekend….so that lives will be changed forever.
I will post pics when I get back!!!!

I’m In Love!

I can’t help but want to shout it from the rooftops…I am so in love with the word of God. I have such a burning desire to hear God’s word…a few nights ago I got on my church’s website (www.hflc.us) and I downloaded like 50 podcast messages that my pastor has preached in the past, onto my ipod. Well yesterday i listened to two messages on purity and 2 messages on praise and worship. It is amazing to me that even though I had already heard these messages…the Holy Spirit revealed so much more to me the second time. Hearing the word throughout the day really does build up your spirit man….and edifies you mind. So last night I decided to download some more from another pastor here in the city…man talk about stepping on toes…..my feet are still sore from the things he said…and you know what? I want more!!!! I am so tired of going around the same mountain over and over again…I have been seeing the destiny for my life for years…and just kept waiting for it to happen…but not willing to really pay the price to see in be birthed. Don’t get me wrong…I have been through some tough stuff in my life, that will help me in ministering to people, but I am talking about the price of laying down my own desires…completely and allowing God to have His perfect way in my life. In order to mature spiritually …there has to be constant growth and also constant pruning. I really am excited to really dig deep into the word…to study it…to eat it…because it really is life to our bodies…and to really cut out the things that would seperate me from God. We must be holy as He is holy…obviously we will never be perfect, but we must strive for purity and holiness once again…..we must!!!! We have to have the faith to seperate ourselves from things, and from people that don’t have the same vision or drive to press forward in God. It may not be pleasant….as a matter of fact , it’s probably gonna be pretty painful, but if you coontinue to keep people around you that have a mixture in them…eventually it will rub off on you.
You know I have been so worried and wondering …God where is my Boaz? and yes there are moments that I am lonely, but I know that as I continue to press on and not even try to find my Boaz…I know that my Boaz will find me…and when he does my hand will be at the plow. When I am in God’s perfect will…the man of God that He has prepared for me will absolutely blow my mind…He…whoever he is…He is worth waiting for. Also the fact that I am 25 and still a virgin is not an embarrassing thing to me, because it is such a precious gift that I will be able to give my future husband…and there is no amount of instant gratification that I would trade that for.We need to learn to crucify our flesh and die daily to our desires. I pray that I never lose sight of the importance of purity. So for now until God makes things happen in the area of marriage…I am not concerned with it any longer, because I am truly and deeply in love with my saviour, Jesus.
I wanna encourage you…get in the Word…submerge yourself in prayer and in praise and worship…cut out those things that defile your life in any way….I am doing it….no regrets…
If you are truly desperate to fulfill the mandate of God upon you life, then you will be willing to lay down anything that would hinder that from being birthed….anything!!!
We have to draw a line in the sand and take a stand for righteousness. now is the time!!!